Saturday, 12 April 2008

ALBUM: Sparks - Exotic Creatures of the Deep (Lil’ Beethoven Records)

Exotic Creatures of the Deep is Sparks’ 21st outing and having managed to fail to break into the mainstream on pretty much all of their previous attempts, and while their genre-hopping is ambitious and maybe even impressive it’s hard to imagine this being a breakaway pop hit.
The whole album matches up quite closely with Rufus Wainwright’s outrageously camp chamber pop sound with definite hints of opera among all the string sections along with random synths and out of place power chords with one difference. It sucks. The whole posh voice, bad falsetto and poorly rhyming and clumsy sounding lyrics make this sound like a half completed musical abortion where any semblance of talent has already been removed.
There’s the hope that Sparks are being ironic with titles like ‘I Can’t Believe That You Would Fall For All The Crap In This Song’ and ‘I’ve Never Been High’ and occasional moments when I think some people might go for this operatic disco shit, but for everyone else it seems it would serve better as a torture for Iraqi prisoners of war, probably as a less humane substitute to beatings and being forced into sexually compromising positions. It’s safe to say this album will be the soundtrack to my nightmares where I’m being chased by Nazi puppy rapists who want to kill me by peeling my skin off and then bathe in my entrails.

Ollie Khakwani

No comments: